Standing on the bank of the river Jordan

Here we stand, on the bank of the river Jordan. The journey has been long and hard. The road has not always been smooth and straight. There have been many times of stumbling. There have been times of pain and hurt, times of sorrow and grief. There were times of conflict, tension, anger, and frustration. There were many times of fear and doubt. There have been times of wandering, and questions, and uncertainty. There have been many times when we have felt lost, and alone, and afraid.

Yet we have known countless moments of joy and peace. There have been many times when we could see the path clearly, and even though it was not easy, we trusted the Lord to carry us through. Yes, there have been times when the presence of God, the breath of Yhwh, was so close and alive in our spirits. We have grown into a family, one people. And we know that we are being created and formed into a people for God's great purpose.

And now the pillar of the Lord has led us here, to the banks of the river Jordan. O, we want to follow. We want to obey. We want to cross over into this land God is calling us into. But we don't know what is in the land on the other side of this river. We dream that we will find the joy and hope and peace of the presence of the everlasting God that we long for. But we fear that there may be giants there, giants that make us seem like mere grasshoppers.

So we stand here, poised on the banks of the river Jordan. We stare down into the murky waters rushing by with a nearly deafening roar. Even from the bank we can feel its breath-taking coldness. The water is so muddy, there is no hope of clearly seeing the bottom. And we know that, hidden beneath the rushing water, there are countless sharp, jagged rocks paving the bed of the river. We know that this is the river we must cross if we are to follow the Lord into the land he is calling us to.

There are many who are ready to go. They are ready to jump in and plunge forward. Their eyes are bright with excitement and anticipation. They speak words of encouragement and promise. There are also many who hold back with uncertainty. They are hesitant to step into the cold water, away from their comfortable camp. There are some who see the rushing water and think of the jagged rocks beneath, and they are afraid that we will be hurt or become torn apart from each other. There are some who see how muddy the water is and how unclear the path. They are afraid we will lose our way. And there are some who think of the giants in the new land, and they are afraid we will be beaten down and fail. Yet there are more who have carried heavy burdens to this place, and they are just too weary to go any further.

And as I stand here, on the bank of the river Jordan, I ask myself- Which of these am I?