Spinning in Circles

I was recently reminded of a Japanese top. When you first spin one of these tops it twirls around in wide, seemingly undirected circles. If its motion slows too much these circles become so wide and uncontrolled that the top falls. Or, as the top turns, the spinning will quicken. The circles the top draws become smaller and smaller, until suddenly the top actually turns upside down onto its stem. There it spins in place, in motion yet still.

Life is like this top. Oftentimes our lives seem like they are spinning out of control. We waver in undirected paths, trying to find where we belong. Ironically, I've noticed that these times often begin when we feel the most in control. We get caught up in the mind-numbing routine of our comfortable lives. Yet we begin to draw a wider and wider path away from our Center until we feel completely lost and alone. But sometimes we are drawn quicker and quicker towards the Center until we release our own wills to the will of God. In that moment our lives are turned upside down and we are able to be still. That is, at least until we become comfortable that we are in control again. Or until other unforeseen circumstances knock us off our tracks.

What circles has your life traced around our Center God? When are the times that you have felt farthest away from God? When have you felt lost, alone, or overwhelmed? What circumstances have knocked your life off course?

What has drawn you towards God? What are those centripetal forces that pull you closer to the centering presence of God? Can you name times when God has turned your life upside down because you were able to release your own will and claim His? How are you able to be still?

Perhaps if we were more inclined to be still and perhaps vulnerable rather than busy and comfortable, we would not so easily fall. Perhaps if we let go of those moments when we feel in control, and cling to the practices and moments that pull us closer to God, we would be able to be still and at peace.

(If you are interested in learning more about prayer and spiritual practices, check out authors like Marjorie Thompson, Richard Foster, Henri Nouwen, Thomas Merton, or Philip Newell.)